Tyler Fugazzie

I first encountered beets thanks to Doug Funnie. These were The Beets, a knockoff of The Beatles, and not the vegetable. I next encountered beets thanks to stories from my mom about how much she hated eating beets growing up. My third distinct run-in with beets happened thanks to beet farmer and enthusiast Dwight Schrute of The Office.

Little did I know that my fourth encounter with beets would be the one that changed my life forever.

On occasion, I indulge in a drink or two. As a 24 year-old, I consider this a part of a healthy social life and youth discovery experience. However on more than one occasion I find myself on the next-morning end of overindulgence; nauseous, confused, headachey, and bitter. Bitter like the five or eight IPA’s I had the night before. Bitter like the coffee I skip to avoid further irritating my fragile stomach. Bitter, unlike the beets that have literally saved my life.

According to Dr. Mecola, beets “are an ancient, prehistoric food that grew naturally along coastlines in North Africa, Asia, and Europe. Originally, it was the beet greens that were consumed; the sweet red beet root that most people think of as a ‘beet’ today wasn’t cultivated until the era of ancient Rome.” So Rome the civilization fell but Rome the health food gurus helped us modern earth walkers gain access to these glorious nutlets.

Extensive googling reveals that beets Lower Your Blood Pressure, Boost Your Stamina, Fight Inflammation, Anti-Cancer Properties, Rich in Valuable Nutrients and Fiber, Detoxification Support. Apparently the liver is a “vital organ that filters and detoxifies the blood that comes through the digestive track before it reaches the rest of the body” (mindbodygreen.com) and not an abuse victim for binge drinking.

Beets are a tonic for the liver. Eat and drink some beets.

Beets Poem:

Better eat those bitter beets

Better eat those bitter beats

It beats a beating head and unbreathing liver

Better eat those bitter beats