Tyler Fugazzie

“I’m not questioning it.”

The crater-colored creatures exchanged wide-eyed, furrowed looks.

“You don’t want to know?” said one of the creatures.

“You’re not even a little curious?” said the other.

“Nope,” I said as I dug my feet deeper into the glowing graygreen sand and sipped on a ringed Piña Colada. “Listen boys, I appreciate the interest, but I’m not really feeling it.”

The creature with the whiter facial hair put his pad away, “We have citizens from all over Xcceaius traveling to visit you. Food leaders, sleep leaders, love leaders, self-esteem leaders, safety leaders; they all want to meet and talk to you.”

I motioned for a waiter to come over, pointing to my glass and mouthing out the proper sounds for a refill.

“That’s cool,” I said, “but I’m chill. This view is nice. Why don’t you write about this nice view.”

The creatures grew frustrated. “You are an alien ‘invader’ of our planet, we have no clue how you arrived, and you don’t seem to have any plans to leave this cushion we’ve provided you. What’s your problem with answering a few questions?”

“I don’t have a problem,” I answered, dabbing more sunscreen on my nose. “Here’s what I know: I walked out of my house looking for a beach, and I found one.”

The senior creature stood up and threw his pad down. “That doesn’t answer anything!”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” I said while blaming my lips.

The creatures stormed away, which made me happy because I was getting pretty tired of dealing with their nosiness. I noticed a long line of vehicles forming out of the corner of my eye, so I flipped down my sleeping mask and waited for the melatonin breeze to settle my breathing.