Tyler Fugazzie

1852 – not around

1887 – conceived

1887 – called a tragic street lamp

1887 – 1889 – became 324 feet tall

march 31, 1889 – born to public

1909 – became a radio antenna

1912 – improper parachute ramp

1925 – source of scrap metal for con artist

1930 – no longer tallest structure in world

1935 – low-res tv transmitter

1940 – 1944 – almost a nazi flagpole

1964 – became historical monument

1967 – almost moved to montreal

2000 – largest flashlight in paris

2007 – starred in rush hour 3

2010 – became most-visited paid monument in world

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that’s the life of the eiffel tower so far. you can verify the sources, most of them came from wikipedia which i take for truth if there are sources. who knows what else is in store for the statue of liberty’s younger brother. maybe i’ll get married there in 2020. maybe it’ll be relocated to brussels in 2024. maybe in 2027 it’ll be the site of wrestlemania. maybe i’ll get married there in 2025. maybe it’ll make a cameo in rush hour 4. i’ve never been there myself. we’ll see what the world has in store for this great, expensive monument.