Tyler Fugazzie

Verizon: What if we do like, “Can you here me now?” and we use it to promote location services?
Paul: Ugh. All these years and this is the best you can come up with?
Verizon: It could also be interpreted as a more existential thing. Here. Can we ever be here? Can anyone ever know you’re here? And then the whole now piece. It’s very zen. Zen is in with millennials.
Paul: I need to break my contract.
Verizon: Your contract has been up for a few years. You can leave whenever you want. But why would you want to leave us?
Paul: I’m leaving.
Verizon: Ha. What kind of options does some random commercial actor have? We don’t want you here. Our next ad will be “Here forever and always with Verizon.” We’re timeless. We’re eternal. You’re nothing without us.Good luck in your future endeavors as an extra in some Amy Schumer show.