I have a confession to make.
I’m responsible for every major publicity stunt in recent memory.
Maybe responsible isn’t the right word since I didn’t orchestrate these stunts. I was merely the man with the ability to pull them off in a way that put all the risk on my head and allowed the artist or celebrity to retain all of the credit.
Stunt doubles put themselves in danger to protect the person with the face or assets to draw box office numbers and there’s nothing more dangerous than a publicity stunt.
That’s where I come in.
I was the one who stormed the Grammy’s stage to get close to Beck. Almost broke my ankle on my way up those steps, but I pulled it off because I’m a pro and I’ve done enough of these kind of high-stakes stunts to know what it takes to push through a near-injury. I got this gig because of how pleased Kanye’s people were with my work with Taylor Swift at the VMA’s.
When Red Bull asked me to put on an Evil Knievel spacesuit and rocket up to the edge of the Earth’s stratosphere, I asked them “who’s Felix Baumgartner?” and then I jumped.
I was the Left Shark. I had the wardrobe malfunction. I was kissed by Madonna, twice.
These are my most notable accomplishments.
There are many more I can’t remember right now. I’d leave my details so you could hire me, but the nature of my work is to remain undercover and always maintain an element of misdirection and surprise.
I will leave you a hint for my next act: pay attention to the floats at this year’s Thanksgiving Day parade.