A Fireside Chat with FDR

FDR: We’re going to bring back fireside chats.
Advisor: But sir, how can we do fireside chats if you’re dead?
FDR: They said I couldn’t walk when I had polio, and I did that, didn’t I?
Advisor: But sir, this is a very different circumstance.
FDR: We need a New Dead Deal.
Advisor: Sir.
FDR: Fear itself.
Advisor: Sir. I believe most people today chat online.
FDR: I didn’t become the first four term president with fear.
Advisor: Sir.
FDR: Fear-DR they called me.
Advisor: I don’t believe so, sir.
FDR: You know that weird thing that happens when you hear something the same time you read something?
Advisor: It’s happening to me right now.
FDR: It’s a load of bullshit. Fireside Delano Roosevelt they called me.
Advisor: You said “when you” just as I saw “when you” written on your cocktail napkin.
FDR: It’s all fucked. Everything is fucked, essentially.
Advisor: Sir. That’s not very presidential.
FDR: Well I didn’t die by being presidential, did I?
Advisor: Did you sir?
FDR: No, I don’t believe so. I don’t believe so at all.

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