Tyler Fugazzie

Dance Fever

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Earth-Shattering Sneeze

Lair

Noon City

Stretch

Saturday

Rubber Neck

Jaywalkers

Thinking Cap, Dunce Cap

It’s Getting in the Way of Your Favorite Thing

Incredibly Tired Melodramatic Man Shopping at CVS

I Didn’t Even Realize It Was Supposed to Rain Tonight

In the Hallway, Farting Solemnly, Thinking About Capped Interest Rates and the Inevitability of My Jolly Demise (The Sunny Inconsequence of Any Contribution to the World)

No One’s Favorite Figment

Attempt the Gods

Lip Sync

Needless to Say

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Nature Isn’t Mute, Humans Are Deaf

moon

In a Bubble, Unable

Barefoot Man Arriving Late for Appointment

Puddles (Visions of Utopia)

Mask-to-Mask

Life Without Applebees (But With Enya’s Orinoco Flow)

View The Invisible Color of Thoughts (PDF)

Table of Contents

• The World’s Oldest Fossil
• Bound to Miss the Bullseye
• Bright Around the Bend
• The Crumbling Prince
• The Big Screen of America
• Garbage Bag Jackets
• LIFE LIKE
• The American Dream (in 10 Easy Steps)
• How Many Bad Ideas
• The Invisible Store
• Miniature Midnight Feature
• It Was Decent Conversation
• Blue Painter’s Tape
• Dolly the Sheep
• World Pore Roses (Key to the Imagination City)
• The Longest Ray the Sun Ever Shone
• The Many-Eyed Giant
• The Frostiest Moon in the Milky Way Galaxy
• Unblessed
• Completely Useless But Beautiful

1. What you mean to say
2. What you say
3. What you think you said
4. What they think they heard
5. What they heard
6. What they think you mean

If need is the mother of all invention, how do we explain airplanes? Humans have wanted to fly since the moment we first noticed birds. Jealous and unsatisfied with our opposable-thumb-enabled dominance, we set our minds on figuring out how to get into the air. Not really a need there but now we live in a world that seems to need flight. It was planes then bomber planes then spaceships then drones then whatever the next frontier in flight will be.

And so we look to the story of the Wright Brothers, significant players in the history of flight and arguably the most famous. They built their own printing press and ran a weekly newspaper. Following this, they rode a national bicycle craze and started selling and repairing bicycles, eventually manufacturing their own.

By 1896, people were more interested in flight.

Otto Lilienthal, Samuel Langley, Percy Pilcher, and Octave Chanute all played roles in this terrestrial space race. Lilienthal plunged to his death in a homemade glider. Pilcher died in a hang gliding crash. Most of the wannabe-pilots of the day thought the solution to flying was found in big fat engines with big fat wings but the Wright Brothers, noticing all these deaths, knew the key was in pilot control. They even used their experience with bicycles to figure out the best way for planes to turn.

The rest of their story was turbulent, as the headings of their Wikipedia page reveals. European skepticism, patent war, competing claims, rivalry. None of this really matters as much as December 17, 1903, the date of their four brief flights at Kitty Hawk and the official start date of the first successful airplane.

I’m not as grateful for airplanes since I really dislike flying but there’s no denying how big of a role flight plays in the modern world. The path of the Wright Brothers, from newspapers to bicycles to planes, started with a toy helicopter their father bought them when they were kids. They played with it until it broke and then they built their own. Their first experience building a flying machine.

I think about how one thing leads to another. I think about the broken toy helicopter and the tinkerers who fixed it. I think about how the humble bird helped us conceive of flight in the first place.

Predicting the end of the world is a popular human pastime. Listed below are all the dates when the world was supposed to end, based on recorded predictions. To the best of my knowledge, all of these predictions have been wrong.

April 6, 793 • January 1, 1000 • February 1, 1524 • February 20, 1524 • May 27, 1528 • October 19, 1533 • April 5, 1534 • February 1, 1624 • April 5, 1719 • October 16, 1736 • May 19, 1780 • November 19, 1795 • October 19, 1814 • April 28, 1843 • December 31, 1843 • March 21, 1844 • October 22, 1844 • August 7, 1847 • April 23, 1908 • February 13, 1925 • December 21, 1954 • April 22, 1959 • February 4, 1962 • August 20, 1967 • August 9, 1969 • February 17, 1979 • March 10, 1982 • June 21, 1982 • April 29, 1986 • August 17, 1987 • October 3, 1988 • September 30, 1989 • April 23, 1990 • September 9, 1991 • September 28, 1992 • October 28, 1992 • May 2, 1994 • September 6, 1994 • September 29, 1994 • October 2, 1994 • March 31, 1995 • December 17, 1996 • March 26, 1997 • August 10, 1997 • October 23, 1997 • March 31, 1998 • August 18, 1999 • September 11, 1999 • January 1, 2000 • April 6, 2000 • May 5, 2000 • May 27, 2003 • September 12, 2006 • April 29, 2007 • May 21, 2011 • September 29, 2011 • October 21, 2011 • May 27, 2012 • June 30, 2012 • December 21, 2012 • August 23, 2013 • April 23, 2018

Notes

• Date data comes from “List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events”
• The next date predicted to be the end of the world is June 9, 2019
• The list above counts predictions of specific dates and not years or date ranges
• April appears the most of any month at 11 times while no one has predicted the world will end on any specific July date
• 50 of 365 calendar days have been predicted to be the end of the world
• Two calendar days appear three times: May 27 (1528, 2003, 2012), April 23 (1908, 1990, 2018)
• Eight calendar days appear twice: February 1 (1524, 1624), March 31 (1995, 1998), April 5 (1534, 1719), April 6 (793, 2000), April 29 (1986, 2007), September 29 (1994, 2011), October 19 (1533, 1814), December 21 (1954, 2012)
• Bonus: R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” was released on November 16, 1987

Walking down a street I walk down every day, I notice a thin, whipped-top tree waving at the block like a green candletip. I can’t believe I leave this town in less than a week. All the leaves are changing and producing beautiful shocks of orange, red, yellow, green. Another tree farther down the street holds hibernating butterflies. Orange-red, the color of the morrow’s morning marrow. One of these days I won’t notice anything new. That’s when I’ll rip the eyeballs out of my skull and feed the gooey orbs to a seagull.

I can’t believe I leave in less than a week. I can’t believe there are butterflies that actually hibernate. You’d think they get their lifetime of rest as they nest inside their cocoons, waiting to transform from mushy creatures of crawling into creatures of delicate flight. We use this transformation as a metaphor for some of our own forms of change. Like when we become new shapes or move into new spaces. I’m struggling to figure out the meaning behind these hibernating butterflies.

Read POV today

Some say the world is one long unbroken chain of yawning. Historical memory is fuzzy on when the first one took place but it was likely thousands of years ago. Possibly millions. We haven’t stopped yawning since and we’re unlikely to stop anytime soon. In case you were wondering, stretching and yawning at the same time, a combination worth trying if you haven’t yet had the pleasure, is known as pandiculation.

We’ve yawned for so long we have some tips to remember for optimized yawning.

Cover your mouth when you yawn if you want to prevent your soul from escaping. Cover your mouth when you yawn if you want to prevent evil spirits from entering. Cover your mouth when you yawn so no one knows how bored you are.

Another tip is to tally each time you yawn, especially when the hours feel extremely long. I once notched many yawns in a matter of minutes. I stopped tracking them once I realized how inconsequential it was.

But there are some yawning records worth breaking.

Bella, a Pomeranian from Wisconsin, holds a Guinness World Record for the longest recorded yawn at 23 minutes and 8 seconds. For humans, David Rickert achieved a 6-minute-and-46-second yawn on May 27, 1994, though my sources are dubious on this fact. It’s unclear what the record is for most yawns in a day, or a minute, or any other unit of time. Our best guess is that it happened during a business meeting or a webinar demonstration of a completely unnecessary software product.

Buy the Book on Amazon

$5.78 – Paperback – 46 pages – 8″ x 10″

Just as sweat evaporates and we all have an expiration date, Sweat is only available to buy until September 22, the last day of summer 2018.

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About the Book

In Sweat, readers are treated to thirty-seven poems, one for every Celsius degree of normal body temperature. It’s a collection centered around the experience of aging, trying to accept the things we can’t control, and the role holding plays in our lives.

This collection covers some well-treaded territory in poetry and features guest appearances by sea legs, the end of the world, space, a muzzled sky, hell, a glass bottle, Godzilla, a rabbit, a greasy plague, a magician, saliva, seltzer, rejuvenated limbs, almost but not quite inspiration, a pocket full of storage, dreams, tanned tourists, hallelujah, a giant footprint, nautical zap, the sun, the future, fish cakes, electric air, the cosmic turtle, a flooded front lawn, bikini straps, a water tower, leftover leather, melodic endurance, a long sleeve denim T, jorts, a sunburned lawn, shade, morning, a big bell, and a marvelous chirp of silence.

Get your copy of Sweat now

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Preview Pieces

Sauna

Water or Sun

Made to Wear & Tear

Jorts

Yard

Like the preview pieces? Buy the book and read more

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About the Author

Ty is an internet-based creative type, author, poet, and communications professional. Between 2013 and 2017, Ty created & published books of poetry Hool, a week into the weird, The Bronze Age, melon cereal, better by foot, 100 Word of the Day Poems, and TRAPPED IN DEJA VU TV, all of which are currently retired. Ty has also performed improv for hypothetical products he created, The Guy with the Giant Business Card and Pocket Egg.

Support the author so he can create more books

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Promotional Images and Full Collection List

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Recommend a poem to me via email: ty[dot]fugazzie[at]gmail[dot]com

“[in Just-]” by e. e. cummings
“30 One-Liners” by Joe Brainard
“At Coney Island” by John Brehm
“A History of Weather” by Billy Collins
”A Little Girl Tugs at the Tablecloth” by Wisława Szymborska
“A Man I Knew” by Margaret Levine
“A Not so Good Night in the San Pedro of the World” by Charles Bukowski
“A Translator’s Note” by Andrew Bertaina
“A Question” by Robert Frost
“A Year in the New Life” by Jack Underwood
“Atlas” by Terisa Siagatonu
“Against Dying” by Kaveh Akbar
“American Sonnet for My Past and Future Assassin” by Terrance Hayes
“Angels” by Russell Edson
“Between Walls” by William Carlos Williams
“Carnival” by Rebecca Lindenberg
“Cheerios” by Billy Collins
“Days” by Billy Collins
“Design” by Billy Collins
“Eternity” by Tom Disch
“Even-Keeled and At-Eased” by Alberto Ríos
“Figure” by Zack Strait
“Fingernails; Nostrils; Shoelaces” by Charles Bukowski
“First Snow” by Louis Jenkins
“Fish & Chips” by Bernadette Mayer
“Fish Out of Water” by Louis Jenkins
“Five Poems about Poetry” by George Oppen
“Flophouse” by Charles Bukowski
“Forgetfulness” by Billy Collins
“Fork” by Charles Simic
“Fourth of July” by John Brehm
“Garbage Truck” by Paul Martinez Pompa
“Hell Is A Lonely Place” by Charles Bukowski
“High Purpose in Poetry: A Primer” by Tom Disch
“How Poems Arrive” by Anne Stevenson
“I Had a Baby with a Woman the Other Day” by Zachary Schomburg
“I Move through London Like a Hotep” by Raymond Antrobus
“I Promise You” by John Lee Clark
“Ice Cream for I Scream” by Mark Waldron
“If Feeling Isn’t In It” by John Brehm
“Introduction to Poetry” by Billy Collins
“Late Arrival” by Charles Simic
“Let Us Consider” by Russell Edson
“Leviathan” by George Oppen
“Life is a Carnival” by Karen Solie
“May” by Tom Disch
“Metals Metals” by Russell Edson
“My Shoes” by Charles Simic
“N. KOREA: UNICORNS” by John Deming
“Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost
“Obit” by Victoria Chang
“Obit” by Victoria Chang
“Ode to the Clothesline” by Kwame Dawes
“Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark” by D. A. Powell
“Outshines Its Canopy of Intent” by Jane Miller
“Pop Song” by Graham Foust
“Prodigy” by Charles Simic
“Pyramid Scheme” by Hera Lindsay Bird
“Regret” by Louis Jenkins
“Sleep” by Jorge Luis Borges
“So Long” by John Brehm
“Song of the Egg”by Deborah Warren
“Talk to the Undertaker” by D. A. Powell
“Tatt That” by D. A. Powell
“Time” by Louis Jenkins
“The Adventures of a Turtle” by Russell Edson
“The Age Demanded” by Ernest M. Hemingway
“The Art of Drowning” by Billy Collins
“The Balloon of the Mind” by W. B. Yeats
“The Color Blue” by Tom Disch
“The Dot on the i” by Tom Disch
“The Dream of a Fire Engine”by Kimiko Hahn
“the drone” by Clint Smith
“The Fourth Law” by Tom Disch
“The Garage Sale as A Spiritual Exercise” by Tom Disch
“The Genius” by Billy Collins
“The Icecream People” by Charles Bukowski
“The Immortal” by Charles Simic<
”The Oven Bird” by Robert Frost
“The Picture and the Mirror” by Tom Disch
“The Red Wheelbarrow” by William Carlos Williams
“The Shelf” by Tom Disch
“The truth about Palmerston North” by Tim Upperton
“The Unforgiven” by Russell Edson
“The View from the Bar” by R. Nemo Hill
“The White Room” by Charles Simic
“Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird” by Wallace Stevens
“This Is Just To Say” by William Carlos Williams
“Toast to My Dead Parents” by Robert Cording
“Too Much Snow” by Louis Jenkins
“trouble with spain” by Charles Bukowski
“True Peace” by Sam Hamill
“Unkind Swans” by Zachary Schomburg
“Vagrants and Loiterers” by Kwame Dawes
“Voxel” by Jason Schneiderman
“Waiheke” by James Brown
“Watch Repair” by Charles Simic
“We Ain’t Got No Money, Honey, But We Got Rain” by Charles Bukowski
“When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer” by Walt Whitman
“White-Eyes” by Mary Oliver
“You Mean You Don’t Weep at the Nail Salon?” by Elizabeth Acevedo