• Fireproof

     

    A piece from Sweat

  • Bookless

    There was a time I was bookless. Then between 2013 and 2017, I published Hool, a week into the weird, The Bronze Age, melon cereal, better by foot, 100 Word of the Day Poems, and TRAPPED IN DEJA VU TV.

    I’m bookless again for the time being.

  • The Guy with the Giant Business Card

    Are you tired of being Some Idiot with a Normal Business Card? Are you looking for bigger returns on your business card?

    Why the Giant Business Card Works

    Makes a big first impression that distinguishes you from those using regular-sized business cards.

    Serves as the billboard of business cards, turning simple “contact me” stationary into a highly-visible ad that will dazzle onlookers and crowds.

    People have to hold it and can’t store it away in their pockets or desk drawers. Pockets are for things we’re about to throw away and desk drawers are for things we forget.

    Makes you and your offering(s) more memorable to people. The Giant Business Card is the only one they’ll notice in their stack of business cards. This means they’ll want to work with you. This means more money.

    Because it’s so unique, people will talk about it and share it with others. Everyone knows the power of word-of-mouth marketing.

    Want Your Own Giant Business Card?

    Reach out to me on Twitter and I’ll make it happen. It will be the best money you ever spend on a business card. Guaranteed.

  • 43 Perfectly Valid Excuses for Not Going to the Gym Today

    1. You just went yesterday
    2. You have a bad back injury from lifting
    3. You’re recovering from a mysterious stomach-attacking flu-like illness
    4. You’re stuck at work writing the draft of an important email
    5. Your good friend who you rarely see anymore invited you out for dinner and drinks
    6. You’re riding a wave of inspiration and working on a new side project
    7. Your family needs your help preparing dinner
    8. There’s a really good show on TV
    9. You’re tired from sitting all day at work and have a long commute anyway
    10. You just don’t feel like dealing with the gym today
    11. You’re more interested in fixing your nutrition than in exercising
    12. You don’t really give a shit about your health because you’re a pop nihilist and everything is meaningless
    13. You don’t want to drain your life’s finite store of energy
    14. You were abducted by a gang of protesters and they’re currently using you as part of their latest demonstration
    15. You ran into Guy Fieri leaving work and he invited you for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Flavortown
    16. Your gym’s water main brake and the whole place smells like moldy towels
    17. You’ve replaced going to the gym with lifting logs in the woods
    18. You’re outrageously scared of being around people sweating
    19. You’re going to a therapy session to work on your prosoperspiriphobia
    20. You witnessed an off duty clown mugging an off duty mime and you have to help the mime describe what happened to them to the police
    21. You forgot your gym pass
    22. It’s Tuesday
    23. It’s a holiday
    24. It was recently a holiday and you ate too much
    25. It’s a holiday coming up and you still need to prepare for it
    26. It’s too cold and crummy outside
    27. It’s too warm and nice outside
    28. You fell in love with a stock photo model and you’re searching for their contact info to ask them on a date
    29. Your phone’s battery is too low
    30. It’s National Don’t Go to the Gym Day
    31. You got cast as an extra in a movie on the way there
    32. You have deep political differences with the treadmill at your gym
    33. You’re privy to a disturbing conspiracy the gym owners are running and you’re working on the case
    34. You’re not entirely sure the gym actually exists
    35. The person you want to run into at the gym no longer goes there
    36. You’re too lazy and you’re trying to embrace being yourself
    37. You plan to go the following day
    38. You’re already in perfect shape and you don’t want to get too fit
    39. You’re bored of everything you can do at the gym
    40. The gym is probably too crowded
    41. You forgot your gym clothes
    42. You have a gland defect that makes your skin play “I Want it That Way” by the Backstreet Boys every time you sweat
    43. You’re already at the gym
  • 10 Alternatives to Saying “What Bug Crawled Up Your Ass?” When Someone Acts Irritated

    • What kind of cockroach flew into your tushy?
    • What cricket scooted into your caboose?
    • What caterpillar transformed into a butterfly and occupied your booty?
    • What ladybug leaped into your bum?
    • What ant climbed into your anus?
    • What insect inched its way into your derrière?
    • What millipede leaped into your rear?
    • What grasshopper hopped into your patootie?
    • What moth followed the light into your buttocks?
    • What snail slimed into your posterior?
    • What bee stung its way into your caboose?
  • “Feel” Project Part 12: Knowing How Much To Do

    • Refining time.
    • How to stay interested after a breakthrough?
    • Knowing how much to do, how many pieces to keep adding, when to cut it off. The project can scale as large or as small as I want at this point really. Not entirely sure how to approach that. I’m going to keep adding pieces since I have more to add and it still feels incomplete.
    • Excited about the simplicity of it.
    • Grateful for the Creative Commons visuals and will add credits even though I don’t need to. Although maybe that spoils some of the intended effect?
    • Cut lines I don’t want to use from the Google Docs after printing and reviewing.
    • Inspired by Self-Help Poems by Sampson Starkweather which a friend recommend to me.
    • Discussing Metamodernism with a friend. Wondering if this work is metamodern.
    • Virtually no response to sharing this blog to prompt discussion about process on r/writing but had a decent response from r/rubberducks based on sharing the image below.
    • That pressure feeling to “get it done” so I can share it but needing to keep that at bay to make sure I do it right.
    • Making time after work to do this, struggles with energy. Thinking of spending less time on this. Will develop more slowly because I don’t want to get obsessive and grind myself out.
    • Inspired by Sufjan Steven’s interview on The Creative Independent.


    This is Part 12 of “Feel” Project Behind-the-Scenes Blog.

  • James Franco Tongue Twisters

    Frankly Franco freezes frolicking funky frogs

    James Franco fairs well wearing fake fangs following a fan’s family

    James Franco got flack for flunking Frank

    James Franco trims the timid fringes from his favorite fern

    James Franco farts strawberry jam during magic fairs

    James Franco was recently censored for drinking his shrink’s shrunken Frescas

    James Franco joyously jammed a stack of French francs into a pair of JNCO jeans

    James Franco’s parajournalism project is protected from a protracted end

    James Franco’s friend’s jealously firm handshake offers justice for the pranked park of frowning jelly

    James Franco’s shameful fame came from slamming former flames who claimed he made the same scams once he became an acclaimed clam

    James Franco’s farce frames farmers as Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

  • “Feel” Project Part 11: Total Breakthrough

    • Coming together of the lines and visuals
    • Using Creative Commons Zero (CC0) pictures from Pexels
    • Embracing dropping in images, embracing only using the editing tools available in Google Slides and not going to Photoshop or Illustrator
    • Completely embracing a Twitter meme format while also playing with the confines of it using the space available on the widescreen format slides
    • Picking lines that feel true, that feel, that don’t feel too contrived or overbaked and are simpler, more organic, more meme-like, a bit more normal
    • Bleed by George Clanton
    • Still up at 5:23 AM on Friday working on this

    This is Part 11 of “Feel” Project Behind-the-Scenes Blog.

  • “Feel” Project Part 10: A Path is Emerging

    Two distinct lines of creation, the visual and the verbal, that will come together for the picture book slideshow.

    The Visual

    • Meme formats, especially Twitter memes, sappy inspirational quote images, and internet “new age” as visual inspiration
      • A look I’ve been enjoying is a simple stack of images as seen by a number of simple meme images

    Human After All (UK design agency) campaign

     

    Cut Copy album and single cover visuals inspired by meme formats, image stacks, and new age album covers

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BZV9NaVg6_r/?taken-by=cut_copy

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BWOMm90gayJ/?taken-by=cut_copy

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BX5zibvgoNZ/?taken-by=cut_copy

     

    Monkey Haircut Meme

     

    Sleevefaces

     

    Breathing Information

    “A subreddit for gifs of humorous or randomly well-timed video overlay graphics. Should be from live events.”

     

    The Verbal

    • The list of lines I have in Google Docs
    • Lines I grabbed that use “feel like” from my Evernote and work email, “feels like” from Evernote, and “felt like” from Evernote. These were actual feelings expressed by myself from my personal notes and journal and some others via my work email.
    • Meme-like expression, with hints of poetry but nothing too contrived or try hard

    This is Part 10 of “Feel” Project Behind-the-Scenes Blog.

  • “Feel” Project Part 9: Tear gun, a pleasure-maximizing algorithm, remembering an abandoned idea of sharing creative processes, and searching through notes

    Tear Gun

    Felicific calculus

    “The felicific calculus is an algorithm formulated by utilitarian philosopher Jeremy Bentham (1748–1832) for calculating the degree or amount of pleasure that a specific action is likely to cause. Bentham, an ethical hedonist, believed the moral rightness or wrongness of an action to be a function of the amount of pleasure or pain that it produced. The felicific calculus could, in principle at least, determine the moral status of any considered act. The algorithm is also known as the utility calculus, the hedonistic calculus and the hedonic calculus.”

    Talking to a friend and he reminded me about my YouTube idea to showcase different creative processes.

    Here are the notes I have from that abandoned and/or postponed idea:

    Try this at home

    Intro the process
    Explain the process, use an example
    Own experience with process
    End by presenting the piece of art
    Try it at home (you try and share your art in comments and I’ll feature it in next episode

    • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiritori
    • Time Attack
    • Remix Everything
    • Pocket Egg (remove smart phone from equation)
    • Look Up Stories
    • It’s the Blend of the World as We Know It
    • Notice One Color
    • Beginners Mindset
    • In the same style (What is a …?)
    • Limited Word Set

    Should I do a “Day” for different feelings?

    • Moody Monday
    • Wistful Wednesday

    Is this project an antidote to rushing?

    I conducted a search for “feel like” and “feels like” and “felt like” in my Evernote and compiled a list of lines I had from entries in there, mostly private notes and journal entries, which may find their way into this project. These would be authentic moments of feeling expression that I’d love to include in this project. I also found a late night free write free verse journal entry that reads like one of the realest things I’ve written but is not something I’m quite comfortable sharing. Yet. I’m also thinking about searching through sent emails from my work and personal emails for the phrases I searched for in Evernote to find more lines. We shall see.


    This is Part 9 of “Feel” Project Behind-the-Scenes Blog.