Tyler Fugazzie

i revolted awake and chucked my shit-stained sweatpants out the window. standing in my closet-sized apartment i thought to myself, “this changes everything” which was such an awesome realization because sleeping in shit-stained sweatpants can be so awful sometimes.

i ran outside and jacked off behind a dumpster until i saw a hobo filming me with his stare which was a disgusting invasion of privacy so i kicked his ass while counting mississippis between my fist throws. i shouted “my views expressed here do not reflect the views of my employer” which was needless since my income comes from blackmailing salacious politicians. some justice shills in a car saw what i was doing and turned their lights on but i ran away.

i ran and ran and ran until i heard amateur guitar noises coming from a dive bar.

i blitzed through the crowd and gold rushed the stage. i told the singer i wanted to file a noise complaint and he laughed at me so i threatened to sue him, grabbed his microphone and threatened to sue everyone in the crowd. they started booing and some corrupt dude called me out as a “garbage masturbator” which was a heinous accusation so i stooge dove right into his face. i yanked off his studded fanny pack and choked him with it until he tapped his mohawk in submission. a bunch of criminal suspects eyeballed me and it freaked me out so i gold rushed back outside.

the uniformed shills from before, starving for justice, were standing outside with flashlights. i thought they would throw me in the slammer but they threw me into an interrogation room and electrocuted my balls until i revealed to them i was not only the “garbage masturbator” but also the “dick pic bomber” – classifications that earned me a spot on the terrorist watch list.

after my submission, they electrocuted the TV’s balls until it started playing a baseball game. they threw me in the slammer and forgot about me until i started declaring gravity a government conspiracy. a guard, probably owned by the Rothschilds, lumbered over to my cell and abolished my right to privacy and suppressed my freedom of speech with a baton to the throat.

i lost my voice that day but all in all i was proud of exercising my freedoms.

Student: Mr. Numerator, what’s the difference between ok and okay?
Mr. Numerator: Well, I have a good friend here who can explain the difference to you.
Fonzie: The difference between ok and okay is the difference between feeling nothing and feeling “ay.”
Mr. Numerator: Thank you Fonzie.
Fonzie: Yo man you said you would let me go after-
Mr. Numerator: THANK YOU FONZIE.

/u/Trill-I-Am posted on reddit detailing some of the history of Adult Swim on its birthday: “15 years ago today, Cartoon Network gave three hours in the middle of the night to an experiment called Adult Swim.”

I can’t believe Adult Swim’s been around for 15 years. I watched the very first airing of this block live when I was a kid, way before I was a “cord cutter.” I was in 5th grade and it was only nine days prior to 9/11. I fucking loved it. Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Sealab 2021 are what I recall the most. These shows helped form my sensibilities when my mind was still gooey and I was growing up in an increasingly unbelievable and frightening world.

Even prior to this, I remember watching Space Ghost Coast to Coast, frequently credited as a godfather to the Adult Swim brand of weird, adult-centric cartoon content. I distinctly remember seeing that show and thinking it was some kind of programming mistake. Why is this on TV? Am I allowed to watch this? What the fuck is happening?

It was a perfect blend of confusion and enjoyment, and a sense of entertainment liberation.

Fast forward to late high school and my college years and Tim and Eric served as my Adult Swim flagship content.

Fast forward some more to after college and the beginnings of my “young professional life” and Rick and Morty and, more recently, World Peace have been my main reasons for caring about Adult Swim shows.

I still love the brand. I still follow their singles series. I owe Adult Swim and their bold creatives for Run the Jewels and Flying Lotus. I owe them for other shows I haven’t mentioned above: Children’s Hospital, Futurama’s reboot, Superjail!, Harvey Birdman, Check it Out!, The Brak Show, and Tom Goes to the Mayor. I owe them for keeping and expanding on their boundary-pushing vision and specific cultural significance.

/u/Trill-I-Am pointed out a show called Off the Air I’d never heard of before and holy shit I’ve been missing out.

Wikipedia: “Off the Air is an American anthology television series created by Dave Hughes for Adult Swim. The series is presented without explanation or narration as a showcase of surreal footage arranged around a single loose theme (expressed in the episode title) and blended without pause into a single continuous presentation.”

I plan on watching all other available episodes but these two on first viewing are amazing and the exact kind of thing I love Adult Swim for. Insanely trippy, freeform, aesthetic visuals and very little sense-making paired with music I love that I don’t normally get to talk about and never get to hear in TV shows (Zammuto, Battles, Dan Deacon and now some others I’m being introduced to thanks to these clips).

I’m watching these stone-cold sober and it’s filling me with that same confusion/enjoyment I first experienced 15 years ago. Thank god for experiments.

I’m in the beginning stages of a new project. A coworker of mine noticed one of our Annual Reports had a printing error on it where some random text was printed on the cover. This wasn’t a spelling or grammar or design error, it was a mishap during the printing stage. This reminded me that I’ve saved a special business card from a few years ago.

Somehow another person’s order printed on top of mine for one card in the set. I placed a mistake-free card on top for comparison.

This is awesome to me. Maybe most people would dismiss it and throw it out but I cherish mistakes and oddities like this. It’s one-of-a-kind and more valuable. It’s like the printing process itself is cast into the foreground; glitch art for printed material.

Austin Kleon‘s books, Steal Like an Artist and Show Your Work are my current reads and they’re inspiring me to nurture this interest and share my process of discovery.

I want to explore, collect, and share the intersection of ephemera (tickets, business cards, trading cards, stickers) and errors. I have no fucking clue where this will lead but that’s part of the fun.

The last kind of project I did like this involved making an online manual for hand gestures. It consumed most of my senior year of college but it was a blast for the most part.

Check out Austin Kleon’s books if your life needs a creative uppercut:

i’m a hot dog uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
zac efron uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
we’re in north korea uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
the world is ending uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
cancer uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
weed uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
underage drinking uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
she’s pregnant uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh
he’s a virgin uhuhhuhhhhuuhhuhuhuhh

Musical Genius: I have a vision.
Musical Genius: It’s a new album. The cover is a bluish purple flattened wave.
Musical Genius: It’s called Various Points of Sadness.
Musical Genius: The whole album tracks a man’s descent into greater feelings of sadness.
Musical Genius: We start with vague melancholy and end with earth-shattering anguish.

Designer: Amazing. I see the cover now. It’ll be like a pink brick.
Marketing Manager: I have a name for it! “The Seventy Seven Stages of Sadness.”
Sound Engineer: Nice alliteration there Gale. With a title like that, you can probably have a track for different intensities of sadness. Like starting with someone who’s bummed and ending with someone who’s totally torn up inside.
Label Suit: Perfect! What an amazing team we have here. Now let’s get on it. 77 tracks is a pretty tough challenge but we’ve got the team to do it. Garrett, let us know when it’s ready. Let’s aim for next week.

Ten Minutes Later
Label Suit: Hey Garrett how’s The Seventy Seven Stages of Sadness coming along? Any progress?

Meme Intern: How’s this look?
Ellen: That’s clever! Maybe it should say something like, “This is how I’m running errands from now on.” Let me call Usain and make sure he’s okay with it.

Ten Minutes Later
Usain Bolt: Hello from Rio, Ellen!
Ellen: Hi Usain! How’s the weather?
Usain Bolt: Great weather. What’s up?
Ellen: Did you see the image we want to post? I think it’s pretty witty. Your smirk towards the camera is legendary!
Usain Bolt: Hilarious! Looks good to me. I’ll make sure to retweet it but I’ve got to go, I’m at the starting line and about to win another race!
Ellen: Good luck!

Twenty Minutes Later
Ellen: Folks it looks like we messed up. The internet is not liking the meme. People are calling it racist. Where’s Paula?
Meme Intern: I’m here!
Ellen: You’re fired! I don’t want to see your pathetic goddamn face within 20 miles of this studio.
Meme Intern: But Ellen! I’m so so so sorry.
Ellen: Get the fuck out of my face. And the rest of you…
Meme Interns: Yes?
Ellen: From now on, our new policy is more rigorous research and testing these things. Reverse image searches, pre-release testing with fans, and vetting our jokes with IsThisOffensive.com.

Devil: He usually listens to me at night. I can’t believe I lost this one.
Angel: What’s the new count?
Devil: You’re up this year by 22.
Angel: Great!
Devil: Hah. Nah I think it’s tied.
Angel: You had a good streak.
Devil: I’ll pay for your drinks if you let me win the next few.
Angel: Deal.

Host: And we’re live with Detective Hardball. Thanks for joining us Detective. We’re hoping you can comment on the situation happening in Milwaukee.
Detective Hardball: Murder.
Host: In 2015, it appears as though there were 145 homicide victims in Milwaukee, which is the highest number of homicides in the city since 1993.
Detective Hardball: These streets are covered in murder.
Host: I imagine you, like most people, are worried about this alarming increase.
Detective Hardball: Every day, someone’s getting murdered.
Host: Most recent stat I have here is from 2011, which reports the U.S. homicide rate at 44 homicides per day.
Detective Hardball: Every day someone’s murdering.
Host: It does make sense that there is one homicide victim for every single case of homicide.
Detective Hardball: Every day, someone’s getting away with murder.
Host: I have an opinion poll here from Country National News claiming most Americans believe there are too many unsolved and dismissed homicide cases in the country. And it looks like we’ve ran out of time in this segment. Final word detective?
Detective Hardball: But they ain’t gettin’ away from me.

JP Morgan: Good morning gentleman.
JP Morgan Jr. 1: Good morning!
JP Morgan Jr. 2: Great morning!
JP Morgan: What’s the news? Where are we at with our investments?
Jr. 1: Up a quarter percent.
Jr. 2: Up a quarter percent, indeed. And how!
JP Morgan: Cut the shit.
Jr. 1: ???
Jr. 2: What shit?
JP Morgan: Lads, it seems as though things are getting stagnant. We don’t want stagnation, we want growth.
Jr. 1: But we are growing. Albeit slowly I’ll admit.
Jr. 2: I still don’t know what shit you’re referring to?
JP Morgan: If you have to ask how much something costs Jr. 2, you can’t afford it. And unfortunately for you, I can’t afford any more of your bullshit. Get out of this room.
Jr. 2: But.
Jr. 1: He pointed his finger towards the door. That means you need to leave.
JP Morgan:A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. Your brother is not a man and all of his reasons for doing things are to please himself and belittle my efforts.
Jr. 1: That’s insightful. What are we going to do to grow our business?
JP Morgan: Solid investments. It seems we’ve been making too many weak investments. If there’s one thing I know about high finance, it’s that solid investments mean exponential growth with wonderful returns. I’m talking about…
Jr. 1: Let me write this down. What did you have in mind?
JP Morgan: Off the top of my head, I believe strongly we need to pursue Electricity, the general kind, nothing specific, Coal, Steel, Bridges, Telephones and Telegraphs, Carpets, Copper, Mustache Cream, did I mention Steel, and of course, Railroads.
Jr. 1: Great ideas. We’ll be wealthier than we could have ever imagined. And quickly!
JP Morgan: Make sure we get Jr. 2 a job managing one of the Railroad companies. Hopefully he’ll be killed by one. Ahahahaha!
Jr. 1: Excellent! You can’t make money if you’re dead.
JP Morgan: And how.